


honey bees still buzz, honey bees still sting

by owlvsdove



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Character Study, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-21
Updated: 2014-03-21
Packaged: 2018-01-16 12:53:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1348144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/owlvsdove/pseuds/owlvsdove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jemma Simmons is loyal to SHIELD. To a very specific limit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	honey bees still buzz, honey bees still sting

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little introspective drabble thing, because Jemma Simmons is my queen...

 

 

Jemma Simmons knew she was in a very delicate position.

When you give away your heart, when you relinquish control to another person, you make yourself vulnerable. Not just to the object of your affection, but to those around you who might exploit your weakness for their gain.

It was very obvious, to everyone except for Fitz, that Jemma had lost the war a long time ago, forfeit herself to him. He tore through her shred of self-control without a conscious thought, ant to boot. She was sharply aware that she lived in a world where her weakness was obvious but unspoken. But working for SHIELD didn't afford her any mistakes - she knew her duty was to continue on as though it wasn’t a liability. 

Jemma also knew her value. Her brilliance was unrivaled except for his. It had been SHIELD's decision to put them together, to tether their abilities for their own gain, but the two of them were nowhere near displeased by this notion. Her stock doubled in conjunction with Fitz's. They were a force known throughout the agency, living legend. 

But notoriety didn't cancel out weakness. Not hers, anyway.

Jemma had always been an anxious little thing, languishing over possibilities, vigilant against imagined threats. She played out every nightmare scenario in her head, as masochistic as it was, to test herself, to see how she'd react. When they first joined Coulson's team, she had lay awake at night, imagining every way that Fitz could be hurt, for practice. People couldn’t say she wasn't tough, not if they knew about the torture she made herself withstand. 

Before they joined this team, though, when the thought of him dying in the field was laughable because it was impossible, Jemma used to imagine how they'd be split up. An order from Director Fury. A tribunal of accusation-lancing judges. A dispassionate email telling her to pack her bags. His sudden disappearance, without the chance to say goodbye. The look on his face when she was forced to turn her back on him. 

It was intense. It left her raw and shaking, but she withstood it. The fear swelled at night; it subsided in the light of day, but she could still feel it in the back of her mind, anchoring her focus to a single, dangerous point, a dirty little notion. 

Jemma's genius afforded her a tactician's outlook; her lion heart afforded her unabiding fierceness. Those senses in consort made her unstoppable. And Jemma had never been the type to rebel against the system. No one would expect sweet, rule-following, heart-sewn-to-sleeve Jemma Simmons to do something like this.

So she started to gather her defense.

She wasn’t actively looking for intel with which to blackmail SHIELD, but she trained herself to be open to opportunity. Every new order, every weapon she helped design, every shred of gossip, was the fuel to her fire. Before she met Skye, she used to roll up scraps of files and wedge them into her mattress. Now she keeps a microchip in her grandmother’s locket. She asked Fitz to smith her a new vibranium chain; anyone who wanted to take it from her would have to rip through skin, blood, muscle, and bone.

Jemma Simmons excelled at preparation. Jemma Simmons would rather lick the poison-tipped arrow aimed at her than let it pierce her back, to show them how thoroughly she built up an immunity. Jemma Simmons is a protector of possibilities. Jemma Simmons is loyal to SHIELD. To a very specific limit.

Preparation – that’s what she did best.

They could try and stop her. They would fail.


End file.
